Since this is my last weekend on the site until I return, begging for a job as James Del's assistant, I've invited some friends to jam with me. Jessica Roy is an young writer finishing her BA at NYU. Jessica?

A list compiled from the experiences of a handful of 'millennials.'

10. Navigating New York is much like navigating a high school cafeteria. Both may leave you feeling demoralized.

9. Joan Didion has said it all before.

8. Law school is an internal compromise of which your parents approve.

7. If your youthful idealism hasn't been beaten out of you after three years of living in New York, move to California. If you're from California, stay in California.

6. Value earnestness! There is nothing wrong with unironic passion.

5. It is unlikely that young writers' words will ever earn them a living wage; it is even more unlikely that they will take this advice and quit their unpaid internships.

4. Disillusionment occurs daily until you're about 22, at which point you begin to accept that you just hate everything.

3. The only thing more difficult than maintaining a satisfying professional life is maintaining a functional personal one.

2. " Heroes" are just people you haven't trashed on the internet yet. [ALTERNATIVELY: "HEROES" ARE JUST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T TRASHED YOU ON THE INTERNET YET. YOU CAN CHOOSE.]

1. Don't read the comments.

Jessica Roy was once featured on Daily Intel, has a tag on this website, and her writing has been published with the Huffington Post and on her old blog, Jess and Josh Talk About Stuff. I once wrote very angrily about her Tofu problems in Paris. I then met her and felt like a "fuckin' idiot" and also, an asshole. And now she's being published here.

Jessica Roy is eating the tofu of life. Are you?