During NBC's coverage of men's figure skating, the network ran a package about Russian favorite/destroyer of worlds Evgeni Plushenko. Plushenko (and Russia) were painted as a bleak, yet brooding force with threatening music and low-angle shots of the Kremlin. Why?

Is NBC trying to amplify figure skating by telling us it's Rocky IV on ice? We're all for building up hype around an event to grab the attention of the casual viewer, but is Evgeni Plushenko really so evil? The gargantuan, relentless Russian journeys west to rock the very foundation of Capitalism using a triple axel, double toe loop combination? And what will America serve up to defend itself from this unstoppable force? Johnny Weir—the immovable (and fabulous) object—of course.

The Russians, with their hooked noses, bowl-cut mullets and sheer power are no match for fox fur, lace, sequins and showmanship!

If Plushenko performs as well in the free skate tonight as he did in the short program last night, America could be in some serious trouble. Either that, or we applaud him for winning two consecutive gold medals. Six of one, half-dozen of the other, right?