Post Mortem: The Teen Moms Spill Their Teen Guts to Dr. Drew
Teen Mom will never end, and who are we to complain? The moms got together to explain what their lives have been like after the cameras stopped rolling, and Dr. Drew was there to berate them offer sound advice
First of all, Dr. Drew is a celebrity psychologist. Most likely he lights 50 dollar bills to light 100 dollar bills to light his fine Cuban cigars. One would think he could find a blazer that wasn't two sizes too big.
Anyway, there were some definite loose ends from the finale, so all the moms were there to talk about what has happened since. And because the teen moms on Teen Mom aren't fame whores, they don't particularly crave the spotlight, resulting in a surprisingly awkward special. A lot of extended silences peppered throughout the show. Dr. Drew practically had to beg them to extrapolate on their answers. But thanks to the magic of the 90-minute special, they eventually had to speak up. And speak up they did!
Maci ended her appearance on Teen Mom by breaking up with Ryan in a soul-crushing, tear-jerking manner that made me never want to believe in love ever again. Well, on the reunion, Dr. Drew managed to squeeze more than 10 words in succession out of Ryan, which is more than he spoke throughout the whole series. And all he did is re-affirm how unfit he is to be a boyfriend, husband or father. Maci may be alone when raising her son Bentley, but it's better than the alternative of living a life with a selfish, unloving boyfriend.
Amber and Gary revealed that they're a couple again (Yay!...maybe). And Amber dropped the bombshell that she may be pregnant with their second child, much to Gary's chagrin.
Unfortunately for Gary, if this is true it will really hinder the time he spends horizontal, maybe even eliminate it altogether. And that would be tragic. Although it must be noted that Gary looked pretty darn comfy on that couch. Savor it now, Gary, because that time is fleeting!
Catelynn was surprisingly boring. She got another letter from her child's adopted parents and cried a little, but overall she just said, "Everyday it gets a little better," over and over. Catelynn's mother April made an appearance, but I couldn't concentrate because of the regression of April's dental hygiene. I accused her of being a meth addict before, and I stand by that claim. Those things are realllly yellow. I was just hoping that Tyler would find a way to propose to Catelynn again. That was such a good TV moment they might as well do it twice.
But if anyone wasn't totally boring last night, it was Farrah. Whether she wanted to or not, she stole the show. Throughout the special she was awkward, sad, vindictive, lonely, and snappy. So she obviously has not matured much since the show stopped taping. She expressed that she wants someone to take care of her baby besides her mother, i.e. she needs a man in her life. The problem is she can't find one, and it's killing her. Unfortunately for her (and us), the rumors of her dating Jersey Shore's DJ Pauly D have died down.
Despite all that, however, the most awkward moment of the show surfaced when Dr. Drew finally asked Farrah some legitimately tough questions. After viewing multiple fights between Farrah and her mother, Dr. Drew made Farrah explain what message she was trying to get across through all the arguing. The message happened to be one of gross irresponsibility, which is that she is a teenager and wants to do teenager-y things.
Obviously the whole choking incident occurred after this special, and in no way is domestic violence ever right, but if having a baby at 17 doesn't make Farrah a more responsible person, nothing will.
And what did we learn from this whole special? Well, more than likely MTV could film these girls forever and change the name of the show to "Life" and I would probably tune in. They will continue to struggle, and I will continue to root, whether there are cameras or not. Although the statistics that Dr. Drew was spouting throughout the show were definitely not encouraging.
What a killjoy.