On Wednesday, the president's first State of the Union address faces off against a geek's infomercial for absurdly expensive pieces of plastic. The jobless, broke, physically ill citizenry of this country is, naturally, way into the shiny plastic bits.

Just ask Google. Steve Jobs' imaginary Jesus Tablet is the number one trending topic among U.S.-based users of the search engine. Barack Obama's big speech about the economy and health care and the future of this badly divided country and whatnot barely registers (see Google chart below). Obama obviously should have kept his "health care reform" idea secret until the last possible second, manufactured it in China, and unveiled it using a Power Point deck and a Gap outfit he hasn't washed since 1997.