Sour contrarian and kittycat lover Andrea Peyser has one message to Conan O'Brien fans: Stop whining and go to bed. Right now! In today's New York Post column, the grumbly Leno fan issues late-night, free-wheelin' CocoNation a weary scolding:

Repeat after me: It's only TV. It's only TV.

Yes, NBC made a mess of late night by wrecking a winning formula, putting Conan O'Brien on the "Tonight Show," and plunking Jay Leno on the tube at 10. Someone should be fired. Maybe tortured. Or made to fly coach.

But putting the planets back in their proper alignment by returning Leno to 11:35 has bruised a lot of feelings, particularly those of rabid O'Brien fans. They view NBC's sudden realization that the new lineup was the worst decision made since President Obama's Hawaiian vacation as a form of treason. I say, calm down.

Your boy will be back on the air . . . somewhere.

In the meantime, learn to read. Take a walk. Or sleep. Only bartenders and bubble-headed heiresses should stay up past 11 on school nights.

So which are you, bubble-headed heiress or bartender? [NYP, via AnimalNY]