Pesky condoms making you lose sensation? Hard to remember to take your birth control pill every morning? No worries, just watch an episode of Teen Mom and you will never forget to strap on that rubber again.

Lazy dads and hormonal moms were the name of the game this week. The one thing they have in common: They're both in way over their heads. These kids are too young to raise a baby using the "trial by fire" method. They can't understand each other's needs because they are too focused on the baby's.

Gary and Amber, a bickering couple, once again can not juggle their relationship, work, school, and a baby that insists on constantly pooping. Gary works, but he is lazy. Like, really lazy. There are very few shots of him in the show where he is not horizontal. Amber takes care of the baby, and she nags him a lot to actually be a father. Gary's laziness and Amber's nagging do not get along very well. It really grates against Gary's pursuit to remain horizontal.

And what would a teen mother be without a dad that rocks a handlebar mustache and a mullet? (There are two on the show). Amber is with her mulleted, mustachioed father, trying to get a hold of Gary because her car broke down. GARYYYYYYY!!!! But Gary just got off work, and his couch sure looks enticing. When Gary is done with work, it's going to take a hell of a lot to make him vertical. Maybe, mayyyybe if his house was on fire, but even that's stretching it. Definitely not his nagging fiancée, his future father-in-law, or his annoying, smelly baby.

Well suffice it to say, Amber and her father are not happy. Words are exchanged, a couple verbal jabs are thrown, domestic abuse ensues. It is not a pretty sight, and you almost feel bad for Gary, but not really.

Sure, unprotected sex may feel good, but watching something like this surely negates that.