We were promised an attack, people. And what happens? MTV is too chicken to air it. Oh well, we can still salvage this night by having a blast talking about the trashiest show filmed outside of a landfill.

That's right, tonight we were supposed to see the Snooker-punch heard round the world on the eight seven-guidos-in-a-house experiment. Instead, we'll just get to see the prelude and the result, including the offender getting arrested, and Snooki lying bloody on the floor. It's what you would call a real "situation." It's going to be pretty awesome.

And we're going to be talking all about it in the comments section below. The program starts at 10pm Eastern on MTV. Tune that dial to the apropriate channel and leave your reactions in the little box that says "Share" below. Then you can tell everyone how you feel and they will respond. Hilarity and ham will ensue until you are back in the hot tub getting pink eye from Vinny.

Here are some things to keep you busy while you watch:

  • Nicknames: We still don't have appropriate monikers for all the major players. Help us give Sammi, Ronnie, and Vinny good nicknames. Better than the ones provided by the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator.
  • Drinking Games: Take a drink every time the duck phone quacks, every time ShamWOWW demands processed meat products, someone can't operate small machinery, and someone goes to jail. Any other rules?
  • Shore Store Scavenger Hunt: The person who spots the best T-Shirt slogan in the background at the kids' workplace will receive absolutely nothing but the admiration of your live blogging friends.
  • Quotes and Definitions: We will be compiling a compendium of the cast's most outrageous utterings and the Complete English to Guido Dictionary for the end of the season. Help us add to it now!
  • General Shock and Hilarity: That is why w watch the show, after all.

Alright, don't hurt your keyboards fist pumping the night away. I won't be able to attend tonight's live blog due to a previous engagement, but I will be back for a recap tomorrow. In my stead, seasoned Gawker commenter and general bon vivant MisterHippity will be hosting. His Jersey Shore nickname is The Impact. Feel free to use that liberally.

[Image via Weekly World News]