Are your trays simply too willing to surrender to the British Monarchy? Need a tray that will stand up and fight for your right to be a lazy fat-ass? Then this unnecessary and next-to-useless product is for you!

We're really trying to connect the dots here on how a tray has anything to do with freedom. We can't even think of a possible hypothetical situation other than using it to bash a terrorist in the face when he's not looking. That's it, though.

God Bless America. *Sheds single tear*