Damn, I didn't even know those things still existed. A reader emails us with a tip about T-Mobile's Sidekick service being down. Twitter is up in arms! A certain blogger-cum-brand is stirring up chaos! What to do?!

Alternate headline: T-Mobile's Sidekick Service FAIL Outage Affects Thousands Of...Sidekick Users. Because, honestly, who uses these things? Sidekick owners, that's who!

Our tipster exhaustively writes in:

There is a media blackout on this!! Microsoft bought danger, then fired a bunch of those folks. I don't know if it's related but we (every sidekick data user in the country) has been without our internet, IM, mms, facebook and twitter. T-mobile is a trending topic on twitter because of this!

T-moible keeps saying it'll be fixed "soon" But this is day 3!! Help spread the word! we are desperate! You can't just buy a company and forget about legacy customers. If this were the iPhone, there'd be bodies in the streets.

I don't think it's a "media blackout" issue so much as it is a "people still use Sidekicks?" issue, but sure! "Sidekick shit" and "Sidekick fuck" turned up a bunch of awesome results on Twitter. Biz Stone, be proud. Another landmark for you:

BRO. BRO. I TOTALLY FEEL UR PAIN. It absolutely sucks that T-Mobile duped you for three days of service, and that they didn't really give you much of an update until today.

T-Mobile and Danger/Microsoft continue to urgently work to restore impacted services to Sidekick, and deliver them to our customers as quickly as possible. Following is a status update for our valued customers: Web browsing was restored Saturday afternoon, and the teams have been working through the night since the disruption started to enable additional functions such as IM, social networking applications and email as quickly as possible.

While we anticipate a significant portion of data services to be restored by Monday, some richer data services may lag. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience, and appreciate your patience as we work hard with Danger/Microsoft to resolve this issue. We will continue to keep you updated as we have news to share. Thank you.

Heh. CAN HAZ UR MYSPACE BACK SIDEKICK USURS. Of course, T-Mobile's favorite user is throwing a bitchfit:

George Gombossy, look out. Nice of you to be a consumer advocate and all, Perez, but a bunch of people are already going to be laid off at T-Mobile due to their impending merger with Orange, and you know, the economy's tough. It's not their fault your Sidekick isn't working! It's corporate's! The stock goes down, and those people have an even worse chance of being employed. Think of the kids, Mario.

Perez Hilton: making the world shittier since always. Also: who has a Sidekick? Seriously.