Well, that was an interesting day. Jews! They're having identity issues, they're having sex scandals, they're having stomach aches, they're having a holiday with something called an "etrog" and a DIY beer cave. It's called Sukkot, and it starts today.

I know, I know: they're everywhere. And how many holidays can they have, amirite? Too many. But back to Joey Ramone: the guy was schitzo, we learned. Maybe "I Wanna Be Sedated" wasn't so much a cry to get fucked up as it was a cry for help, and we all sang along and tried to huff as much glue or snort as many pixie sticks as we could in high school. We heard fun. The same way David Letterman's audience heard a joke when he started talking about the "terrible" indiscretions he had. David Letterman has sex? They thought. Hysterical! Except, go watch that clip again. Letterman is seething with anger: anger at his audience, the people laughing. Anger at the crooks who try to exploit him. Anger at himself for often occupying the role of a professional clown. And mostly: self-loathing anger.

Which brings us back to that Iranian guy in denial: sometimes, you gotta face who you are, whether you're a Jew, a pussy hound, or an insane punk rocker whose fans devolved from paint-addicted Manhattan punks to the suburban decay of Hot Topic shoppers, throwing a shirt with your face on it right on the counter with a poster of Robert Pattinson's fangy, sparkly face, and busting out mom's credit card. Then again, you're still the guy who wrote "Judy Is a Punk." So you've got that going for you. Also, you're dead. Which after the sadness wears off, is pretty punk, too.

Tomorrow! We've got Altarcations coming at you at 2:30. SNL Digest should be around by 3:30. Ryan Reynolds and Our Lady Of The Immaculate Penis, Lady Gaga, are on tonight's show. I was in the same room with Lady Gaga this week, and yes, we'll definitely be talking about that at some point. Also, did you know this site used to have job listings? It's true. I'm bringing those back tomorrow, as well a nice list of media pussy hounds. Isn't it fun to say? Pussy hound! That should be fun.

Apologies for the slow schedule, friends: I was down with the aforementioned Jew tummy ache. I ate too many Etrogs last night. I'll be around here for a bit. Have a good night, enjoy the show, and crank it. Joey?