Time for an update on the case of Hiram Monserrate, alleged girlfriend face-slasher and one of New York's three very most objectionable political figures! Having his slash-vic on his side in court is really helping him out. Love—it's crazy.

Pretty much every "fact," including surveillance video, points to a scenario where Hiram—an asshole by nature—came home, found another guy's card in his girlfriend's purse, got angry, and proceeded to slash up her face with a broken glass. It happens, when you go out with Hiram Monserrate. But who are we to say that his girlfriend's version is not the true one?

"He was not dragging me," Ms. Giraldo said of a security video that showed Mr. Monserrate yanking her away from a neighbor's door and through the lobby on the way to a hospital. "He never hurt me or did anything to me. He was pulling me for my own good, and thanks to him I'm all right and my face is all right."

He tripped and smashed the glass in her face accidentally and then he was just trying to help, sez the happy couple. Well. She was the one there who got her face slashed by this guy and if she wants to say he was innocent then there's really no law against that, except, theoretically, the laws against perjury and witness intimidation and maybe some sort of mental fitness standards for testifying witnesses.
[Pic: AP]