Anna Wintour spent seven days during Fashion Week cruising around New York with her trademark hair and glasses. But she was also sporting the hot new accessory for spring: a smile. What is making Anna so God-damned happy?

She's had plenty of frowns lately. McKinsey is about to run rampant making cuts at Condé Nast, her imaginary boyfriend Roger Federer lost the U.S. Open because she had to go to the Marc Jacobs show, her daughter is a hobo, Grace Coddington totally upstaged her in in The September Issue, and no one spent any money during her faux charity event Fashion's Night Out. Even through adversity, she has turned those frowns upside down. Maybe the last affront of her Make-People-Like-Me Tour 2009 is to smile? Next thing you know, she'll be getting a new haircut!


The Picture Face:
Why It Happened: This is her slight smirk employed when she deigns to grant permission to have her photo taken. It is the gold standard by which all candid smile shots should be judged.
Wattage: 10

The This Jacket Is Made from 100,000 Tiny Snakes Smile
 Why It Happened: When in the front row at Proenza Schouler, Anna realizes that her outfit caused the death of a legion of small helpless creatures. Also, proximity to daughter Bee Shaffer and her girl crush Rachel McAdams.
Wattage: 30

The Me Likey Smile
 Why It Happened: Oscar de la Renta's wares put Anna into a fashion-based frenzy, and she has a flashback to her younger days as a nightclub trolling hipster.
Wattage: 60

The Touch of a Man Smile
 Why It Happened: Designer Narcisco Rodriguez placed his warm hand on her cold flesh.
Wattage: 40

The Tell Me More Smile
 Why It Happened: We originally thought this was a call from imaginary boyfriend Roger Federer, but it happened during the Marc Jacobs show, where she was causing him to lose. But, no, it is a call from Luca Brasi, telling her that something very bad has befallen the head of McKinsey. Also aided by the caffeine rush from her beloved Starbucks.
Wattage: 50

The Chip off the Old Block Smile:
Why It Happened: Bee Shaffer just called someone fat.
Wattage: 80

The Schadenfreude Smile:
Why It Happened: You would think she was happy to see frenemy Charlize Theron at the U.S. Open. No. She's just giddy because, judging by the look on Theron boyfriend Stuart Townsend's face, someone just screwed up on the court.
Wattage: 70

The Fresh Meat Cackle:
Why It Happened: The Wicked Witch of the Twelfth Floor lets loose a terror-inducing noise when she thinks of the hell she is going to put young designer Jason Wu through.
Wattage: 100