Welcome back to Project Liveblog. Is everyone ready to witness the biggest lie in runway history? Because that's what Lifetime's breathless episode promo says we'll see tonight. Unless Lifetime is, you know, lying about this?

I hope not, because I'd love to see Michael Kors leap from his judging chair and call out the liar: "J'accuse! You lie! That crotch is not sane!" Alas, we can't even be sure that Kors will be back tonight. His attendance has been spotty, probably because the show is now set in L.A. instead of New York...and run by a new production team…and broadcast on Lifetime instead of Bravo—all of which I blame on Harvey Weinstein, because Harvey Weinstein is an idiot. And that's no lie.

So anyway, here's the truth about this live blog, for those who have yet to see the light: It is created by commenters like you, and happens in the comments section below when the show starts at 10 Eastern on Lifetime (aka The Vagina Channel). Commenters with no stars should not hesitate to join in, because the rest of us will "promote" just about anything you post. We're easy that way (slutty slutty slutty).

Here's a lie-free list of highlights from last week:

  • Heidi revealed that model years "are like dog years." And I must say, for a 252-year-old woman, she looks damn good.
  • Commenter CoffeeAtDawn observed that there were "more stitches in the hairline of the judging panel than on the garments on the runway."
  • Guest judge Jennifer Rade wolf-whistled at Logan, stared at his pants and made him turn around so she could see his ass. Then she decided that, even though his design sucked, he could stick around.
  • Qrystyl got Qanned, but she had it Qoming: It was Qlear she Qouldn't Qut it, and her Qomplaining was getting Qind of old. If you Qan't stand the heat, get out of the Qitchen, you know?

This list of "things to watch for tonight" is a truthful one as well:

  • The designers will make garments out of newspapers: This could be good in two ways: Not only could it help solve the "boring challenge" problem we've had so far this season, but it may also help revive the dying newspaper industry by highlighting the versatility of its product. (It's a news source! No, it's a fabric substitute!) Who says newspapers have no future thanks to the web? Can you make a dress out of a blog? I think not. Take that, new media!
  • The guest judges will be Tommy Hilfiger and Eva Longoria: I really have nothing bad to say about these two, other than they are clearly not Michael Kors and Nina Garcia—and I sure hope they aren't "substitute judging" for either or both of them.
  • A designer will lie like a lying liar: As you already know. Hopefully he or she won't be wearing pants made out of newspaper, because those newspaper pants could catch fire, and then we'd all have to point and shout "liar, liar, newspaper-pants on fire!" And that probably wouldn't be good for the newspaper industry.

Ok, enough of my pre-show non-prevarication. Let's get this party started!