Hey, wanna kill time before tonight's live blog starts? Try rating cheftestant tattoos! Bravo's posted some 50 pics of them, which you can score on a five-star scale (and for once, Ashley's actually winning something!).

And man, is this group ever…inky. But before you go do any tat-rating, finish reading this, OK? I worked hard on it (not really). So we're up to the fifth installment of this weekly web feature, wherein we convene in the comments section below and wax witty about Top Chef: Las Vegas (which starts at 10 p.m. Eastern on Bravo). Last week's shindig was big (900+ comments) and eventful, including the following highlights:

  • Lizawithazee announced plans to stop into Seattle eatery Branzino—where Ashley works—tonight, as part of her contribution to our series of "live-blogger field reports" on cheftestants' restaurants. So if all went to plan, Liza's dining there at this very moment and will deliver a report by next week (citizen journalism FTW!).
  • Before Top Chef started, several commenters (including me) checked out this new Glee show and got hooked on it. So I think we'll hold an informal "Glee Pre-Live-Blog Live Blog" during the 9-10 pm period from now on.
  • Many of us mourned the booting of once-scary Hector, who'd really grown on us lately. Unfortunately, he frightened the judges by ripping his chateaubriand apart with his bare hands, and didn't help matters by explaining that dismembering flesh is really difficult when you're in a hurry. So an alarmed Padma made him pack his knives as Tom called security.
  • Earlier, lip-ring-bestudded "balls" utterer Jesse suffered an epic snail fail, and was forced—as commenter son of spam put it—to "pack her face and go."
  • During a commercial break, we were startled by the unexpected return of our beloved Glad-bag guru, Erica (Viceroy of Value, Poobah of Pasta, etc.), whom we'd given up for dead. So we lost a Hector but regained an Erica—not a bad trade all around.

While I failed to predict Erica's return last week, I know I'll have better luck predicting the following events tonight (because I saw them on the preview clips):

  • The chefs will decamp to the desert to cook for a group of "Las Vegas cowboys." The last time I was in Vegas, the only cowboy I saw was walking around wearing nothing but a hat and assless chaps. So if these "Vegas cowboys" are anything like that one, they should be careful not to stand too close to any cacti.
  • Padma will dreamily speak of "succulent succulents" before (presumably) wandering off in search of peyote buds.
  • Former Top Chef Masters contestant (and k.d. lang doppelganger) Tim Love will tell us: "Nobody really messes around with cactuses, because you know what? It hurts!" Cowboys like Tim Love know this, because … well, let's just say that it can get mighty lonely out in the desert.

Ok gang, time to grok Glee and/or grab some grog before the main gala gets going at 10. Oh, and if you want to rate those tats now, go right ahead … and thanks for reading!