Hollywood's screaming shut-in Nikki Finke is making waves in her own bathtub this morning with a fresh new look — which bears a striking resemblance to the old look — and promises of the imminent roll-out of a worldwide network.

On the surface, the remade site looks pretty much exactly like the old site, with some new fonts and a suspiciously familiar skybox at the top. However, in her welcome to the makeover letter Nikki writes, "Most, but not all, of the site's new features are ready, and those that aren't will be coming soon (some as quickly as later today)." So we went poking around for these awesome new features.

There appears to be a Greatest Hits section, where visitors can relive Finke classic Shockers, Stunners and Toldjas like "SHOCKER! Paramount Moves Scorsese's 'Shutter Island' To February 19, 2010" and "Toldja! Ari Emmanuel's Dry Cleaner Names him Customer of the Century! Picture to Hang on Cash Register!"

There is also the intriguing promise of the Finke "Premium" section. (We wondered if as one of its services premium subscribers will be offered the opportunity to write their own stories about themselves, but doesn't she already offer select customers that service?)

We were also dismayed to learn that Nikki had dropped the delightfully unwieldy url deadlinehollywooddaily.com for the more brandable deadline.com. A major step back in our book.

Most chilling of all however, is the specter of a worldwide Finke empire about to arise. In her note, she writes, "Immediate editorial plans also include a Deadline New York senior editor/writer, followed throughout the next year by correspondents in other cities like London, Paris, Mumbai, Hong Kong, and Sydney, all of whom will report to me."

In general we would dismiss this as another example of Finke bluster that never materializes, but in Peter Kafka's media memo today he writes of speaking with Finke's new owner Jay Penske:

Penske tells me that the new hire, whom he describes as a "well-known figure from established media," has been locked up, is finishing paperwork, and will be on board within two weeks. Finke also promises to have hires in "London, Paris, Mumbai, Hong Kong, and Sydney" within the next year.

Not that long ago, it would have been inconceivable to see a big-name media macher go to work for a one-woman blog owned by a white-label email services provider. But now that Web publishing has lost most (but not all) of its reputation as a backwater for second-raters, wannabes and has-beens, and now that traditional publishing is on life support, it's a whole lot more believable.

Which raises the chilling question: we know we're in the last days of media and all that, but how desperate would your life have to become to go to work for Nikki Finke? What can that possibly be like?

If anyone has applied for those jobs or done anywork for Worldwide Finke Incorporated and has stories to share, our ears are open. Our number is tips@defamer.com.