The New York Post specializes in faux-outrage (accompanied by plenty of sexy pics of said outrage!), but never more than in the dead news days of August. Below, we rate the shamelessness of the Post's current faux-scandals. We're outraged!

[Shamelessness is ranked on a 1-10 scale, lowest to highest. "1"= Inklings of genuine shame, "5"= Milli Vanilli-level shamelessness, "10"= Donald Rumsfeld.]

NYP Story: (Jewish) In-Laws Suing (Black) Comedian in the Family For Joking About Them!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: 80% pure invention, 20% real story.
Sexxxy pic potential: Disappointingly low. Unless the fight gets dirtier!
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 2, but only because the Post has a hard time working up outrage against things that let them make "Black-Jew" jokes in the lead of stories.
Shamelessness: 3

NYP Story: Zach Hyman Taking Nude Pixxx of Ladies All Over Town!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: Publicity Stunt by Hyman, clearly.
Sexxxy pic potential: Extremely high.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 3
Shamelessness: 4

NYP Story: Skankblogger Calls Model a 'Skank' on Internet!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: 90% invention. 10% real story.
Sexxxy pic potential: With one attractive lady suing another over for posting sexxxy skank pics, not too shabby.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 10
Shamelessness: 6

NYP Story: Sexxxy Nude People Are Having Sex in the Windows of the Standard Hotel Where Everyone Can See!
Real Story, Publicity Stunt, or Pure Invention?: What started as a publicity stunt by the Standard Hotel has now spiraled into a subject for the Post's bottomless inventiveness.
Sexxxy pic potential: Stratospheric.
Actual NYP Glee outweighs professed NYP outrage by a factor of: 25
Shamelessness: 8.5