The Post reports that 300 old school, "Heil Hitler" Nazis lurk in America, doing monstrosities like retiring in Michigan and tending flowers in Queens. Meanwhile, new school Nazis spread seeds of hate by makin' sweet love to Israeli women.

The Simon Wiesenthal Center is closing in on the few remaining survivors of modern history's greatest atrocity, aiming to weed out the last few WWII Nazis hiding in America before they are "too sick to bring to trial." On the one hand, these former Nazis have worked hard to escape their past and become upstanding members of society. On the other hand, they did keep malnourished concentration camp prisoners from escaping using attack dogs. Kiiiinda hard to let that slide.

Old School Putridity
 The info comes about because John Demjanjuk, an 89-year-old former Ohio auto worker, was charged last week with war crimes after being shipped back to the Vaterland. Today, he looks like everyone's grandpa, slightly befuddled and snoozing in a haggard armchair. Except...well... he's been charged with participating in Nazi death camp murders in 1943. Not exactly the fine, upstanding life of the world's former oldest man.

New School Excrescence
 Meanwhile last week, authorities nabbed 33-year-old Mickey Louis Mayer, the triple threat White Supremacist, KKK Member and Neo-Nazi who's also a card carrying member of the FBI's 100-Most Wanted List. This freak fled America to become an illegal alien in, of all places, Israel! After hiding out in Tel Aviv's hippie community, he felt that loving feelin' and started courting a Jewish Israeli gal. Repentant? Hardly. On finding out he impregnated her, he went batshit crazy at the thought of having a half-Jewish kid, spilled the beans, and girlfriend ran to the authorities. Mayon is being shipped back to America TONIGHT.

We also frickin' frakin' freakin' hope the same rigorous effort is being expended to ferret out the Neo-Nasty racists who proudly proclaim their hate in our very military.

Nazis! They're our neighbors, our grandpas, our soldiers, the father of our children. Stop the fucking madness!