Hmmmm, just what is Senator Tom Coburn suggesting, here, with his statement to a constituent about making sure "political candidates are eligible for the offices they seek"? Oh, right, he is appeasing a lunatic "birther."

The "birthers" are people who think Barack Obama was secretly born in Kenya or Indonesia or on the moon (the crescent moon), because it is utterly unfathomable to them that we have a black president, and this is how they're dealing with the stress of a colored person in the office of a man they used to worship.

They claim Barack Obama does not have a birth cirtificate, or something, honestly their conspiracy theories about this don't make very much sense to us, because even leaving aside the question of why anyone would've faked Obama's Hawaiian birth in two newspapers 47 years ago (the Illuminati knew he would be their eventual stealth socialist black president?) there is the sad fact that Obama's birth certificate is available on fucking Wikipedia.

But "evidence" and "proof" that contradicts conspiracy theories only strengthens the resolve of the theorists. Thankfully, instead of being a couple easily ignored nuts babbling away on obscure message boards, these birthers are being taken very seriously by a couple members of Congress.

First, Bill Posey, the illegitimate grandson of an alligator and a Republican congressman from Florida, introduced a bill demanding "documentation of eligibility from presidential candidates." And now Coburn is helping out!

"The bill requires any federal candidates' campaign committee filing with the Federal Election Commission to produce a copy of the candidate's birth certificate," he wrote. "If the bill makes it to the Senate, I will likely support it."

Coburn also noted that within the state of Oklahoma, a bill has been proposed that would require "any candidate filing with the Oklahoma State Election Board to provide proof of citizenship by providing a 'state government-issued birth certificate with a raised seal.'"

Coburn eventually claims that he does actually believe the president to be eligible to be president, which means he is just actively admitting, in this letter, that he is just condescending to lunatics and encouraging them to continue their wacky little fight against reality. He is yet another true American hero, in a Congress full of them.