Oh, so much happens today. A new 1990s begins on The CW. Another wonderful movie about smart alec animals lurches into fruition. TNT makes its big, crime-ridden power play. The Real World will soon date rape you. And the clouds of war gather and loom.

Whoa, time warp. Remember those glittery old 1990s nights when you'd watch 90210 and then, right after, there would be Melrose Place waiting for you—a bitchy, bruised little giftbox. Well, in my case, in the early years at least, that only happened if the babysitter let me stay up. But still! We will soon get to relive those old days, only in a way shittier way! At the CW's upfronts yesterday they revealed that, yes, in fact, the new MP reboot will air on Tuesday nights right after the new, horrible 90210. So let your kids stay up late. Who knows, one day they could grow up to be gossip bloggers. Proud parents! [Variety]

Oh this sounds good. Rosario Dawson has just signed on to play opposite Kevin James in the romantic comedy The Zookeeper. The film is a about, um, a zookeeper whose animals teach him how to meet the ladies. Leslie Bibb from Popular is gonna be in it too. [Variety]

TNT is making a play to become the sixth major network, even though it's still stuck with that ugly basic-cable label. They held their own upfronts yesterday with notables like Dylan McDermott on hand to plug their cop dramas. In the upcoming months we may also see a Steven Spielberg-produced drama about aliens, a drama about a "down-on-his-luck" attorney, and a Kyra Sedgwick/Kevin Bacon-produced drama about a small town Texas sheriff called Zapata, Texas. TNT knows drama! Especially if it's half-baked brooding crime drama. [THR]

Roadside Attractions has picked up distrib rights to Happy Tears, which stars Demi Moore, Parker Posey, Rip Torn, and Ellen Barkin. Seeing as it's an indie and it's called Happy Tears, any guesses what it's about? Yep. You guessed it. It's about a wackily dysfunctional family. It comes out early next year. [THR]

Ohhh girl, get your reality on! The 22nd installment of MTV's syphilis-ridden warhorse The Real World will premiere on June 24th. The season is set in beautiful Cancun, Mexico and, since we haven't read any news reports about a tanned body full of booze turning up in a ditch outside Puerto Morelos, we'll just assume that Bryannica's case is still considered a "voluntary disappearance" by the Mexian authorities. [Variety]

The Sag Wars are heating up again. Which side will you fall on? Will you side with history? Are you willing to die by the SAG sword? Kate Walsh says vote yes. Do you really want to be on the losing side if Kate Walsh is victorious? She's a bloodthirsty maniac, hellbent on creating nothing less than global chaos and misery, after all. I mean, have you seen that show Private Practice? [Variety]