Bush Gardens: China's Sex Theme Park
The notoriously unsexy People's Republic of China is trying to shed their rep for flaccid views on sexuality. In fact, a sex-oriented theme park is rising right now.
Not content with being the Ninth Sexiest Country In The World, someone over there felt in themselves the need to mount what they're billing as a place designed to "(improve) both the sex education and the sex life of its visitors." Hence: Love Land. The Chinese have to take all the fun out of sex, don't they?
The park's manager, a decent fellow named Lu Xiaoqing, tried to pound the message home:
"We are building the park for the good of the public. I have found that the majority of people support my idea, but I have to pay attention and not make the park look vulgar and nasty."
Visitors are being promised "giant" genitalia, naked people, histories of sex, and other assorted "fun," sexytime ways to learn about the world's oldest hobby, but tragically, no rides have been announced. Yet. We've worked on a few ideas in case they're in need:
- Splash Mountain
- Mr. Toad's Wild Ride
- The Magic Carpets of Aladdin
- Donkey's Photo Finish
- Twister: Ride it Out
- Jaws
- The Wild Surge
- Cheetah Chase
- Ariel's Grotto
- Country Bear Jamboree (why not?)
- Got any more in you? Bust a few out in the comments below. Whee!