Botox is now "medicine's answer to duct tape," used for everything from "buttock deformity" to headaches. Guess which end of the body our eyes darted to on the awesome New York Times infographic.

Using botulinum toxin to treat "anal fissure" or "testicular pain" is technically legal, as doctors have fairly free rein on such "off-label" treaments. But those uses haven't cleared FDA tests the way "severe underarm sweating" treatment has.

So whatever poor sap had to be the first to try injecting Botox into his anus should get some kind of special reward, like never having to stand on the subway. Or, uh, maybe something that doesn't involve sitting, ever. Like a hammock.