Boston High School Is Not, In Fact, Overrun with Vampires
The Boston Latin School (which I trudged through for six long years) has a vampire problem. Kids are spreading rumors that the school is infested with blood-suckers. The headmaster now assures us: It's all lies!!
The ancient school has been a-buzz with rumors that there are vampires lurking the building, causing something of a frenzy among the student body. Eventually the new, hip headmistress Lynne Van Helsing Mooney Teta intervened, sending out a memo to faculty, students, and parents essentially saying 'cool it with the Twilight shit'. Reports the Boston Globe:
"I seek your cooperation in redirecting your energy toward the learning objectives of the day. Please do not sensationalize or discuss these rumors," she said.
She also said she was concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized because of the rumors, and asked students to report if any student is being harassed.
"At no time was anyone's safety in jeopardy," she said.
For their part, the Boston Police department is befuddled by the whole debacle. A spokesman told the Globe:
I'm not sure whether [the supposed vampires] were among the student body or whether they were inhabiting the old corners and crevices of the building,
So, very silly. Though, if Ms. Walter hadn't retired, I'd be more likely to believe the rumors.
Go (Were)Wolf Pack!
