For all the hoaxy drama behind Joaquin Phoenix's hip-hop ambitions, you can't say the guy isn't serious about effectively throwing his film career away after watching his spectacular self-immolation last night on The Late Show.

Phoenix ostensibly visited New York on Wednesday to promote his new film Two Lovers, but the movie proved secondary to the faux-enigmatic persona that left the actor muttering nothing in particular between long, awkward silences abetted by David Letterman himself. The results speak for themselves, as did Casey Affleck's camera-wielding appearance at the day's earlier press rounds in New York, which we hear wound up having even less to do with Lovers than Phoenix's hirsute, gum-depositing late-night escapades. So enjoy what promises to be the last of the star's half-assed film interests, at least until Darren Aronofsky digs him out of hiding 20 years from now for a moving, Oscar-ready comeback. We'll be waiting. [CBS]