There's nothing funny about the allegations that Chris Brown may have attacked Rihanna, but at least the proceedings received a long-overdue dose of Hollywood lunacy over the past twenty-four hours.

Last night, all of Southern California's local stations promptly scrambled over themselves to televise a low-speed chase in a luxury Bentley with a fugitive driver who was heavily implied to be Brown (at least on KNBC, where the reporters constantly mentioned Brown's recent troubles and all but said, "Do the math!"). However, the driver actually turned out to be a bereft businessman who shot himself an hour and a half after pulling to a stop.

Meanwhile, both Brown and Rihanna aren't talking about the matter (though the New York Daily News says she is cooperating with authorities), but that hasn't stopped some of their colleagues from weighing in. "She has the potential to be the greatest artist of all time and, in that sense, I feel like that's my baby sis and I would do any and everything to help her in any situation," Kanye West said to Ryan Seacrest this morning. "I feel like, just as a person, I don't care how famous she is or even if she just worked at McDonald's, that should never happen. It should never come to that place."

T.I., however, took a different tack. "I spoke to [Brown] today," he said last night on Last Call With Carson Daly. "He's cool, you know. He's a little concerned about the situation, but he's still the same Chris. I told him, 'This too shall pass.'" We're not so sure about that—although, good thing he's starting to get a little concerned!