Admit it: at times, when the fantasy of a live, Fox News-sponsored hatefuck with Elisabeth Hasselbeck simply won't do, your thoughts turn to The View's resident sexual lioness (when Barbara Walters isn't there), Joy Behar.

"What a sexual dynamo she must have been in her youth!" you think. Sure, young Joy may have appeared to be a Catskills-practicing good girl by day, but between the sheets at night, she no doubt "worked blue," ifyouknowhatwemean.

If you want to preserve those dreams, then we'd recommend you read no further, instead retiring to your tub to run a self-pleasuring Lansbury bath. Why? Because Behar revealed on today's teen-sex-themed episode of The View that she'd never even heard of oral sex until she was 25—and even then, the idea made her want to vomit (the demonstration of which she seemed to conflate with the actual act she was decrying). If you'll excuse us, we must take a moment to amend our graphic Joy Behar/Richard Lewis fanfiction. For accuracy.