As if on cue, Christian Bale has surfaced with tail tucked neatly between legs to apologize for the rant that has kept bloggers, Access Hollywood reporters, and talk show hosts knee-deep in material for days.

He brought his first, and therefore most critical, mea maxima culpa to an unlikely platform, calling in to KROQ's Kevin & Bean radio show. After assuring them "this is no punk," he thanked them for making him laugh during what has been a "miserable week" for the anger-mismanaging Terminator Salvation star.

The apology itself was a masterful act of contrition, with Bale gingerly avoiding any even remotely salty language as he went about the business of hitting his various, self-effacing, did-it-for-the-greater-good-of-the-production-but-what-a-impotent-little-hot-head-I-am talking points.

On caring too much:

I'm not comfortable yet with this notion of being a "movie star." I'm an actor. The thing that disturbs me so much is that I've heard a lot of people saying that I think that I'm better than everybody else. And nothing could be further from the truth. I'm a lucky S.O.B., and that is why I put so much into what I do.

How the Method made him do it:

In [T2] you will meet Sarah Connor. And she is in an insane asylum—why is she there? Because she is crazy. Now I play John Connor her son, and on the day that all of this happened, the scene that we were doing, I was trying to show a little of that in-the-blood craziness, and it went a little wrong... I took it way too far, and I completely mixed up fact and fiction. I'm half John Connor, I'm half Christian there.

On how DP Shane Hurlbut and he are not quite done professionally:

I've not only talked with him, we've resolved this completely. That very day we kept working for a number of hours. Listen when I'm saying I'm not coming back on that set if he's still hired, it's hot air. I don't believe that. I have no intention of getting anybody fired.

On the folly of him being perceived as a bully:

And another thing: a lot of people that I was a bully to this guy. That's an insult to Shane. He is a big guy. I couldn't have bullied that guy if I tried. He's much bigger than me—he's an ex-friggin football player.

One final plea for your Terminator Salvation dollars, if not for Bale, then for the hardworking TS crew:

Please, I'm asking people— do not let my one time lapse in judgment, my incredibly embarrassing meltdown overshadow this movie, and let all those people's hard work go to work go to waste. The mythology is too big.

Oh, stop it, you big lug! You had us at "in-the-blood craziness!" Just promise us you'll drop the bat-voice from all future performances, and we're as good as reconciled.

Click to hear the full apology from half-John Connor/half-Christian.