We're down to the final six, the end's racing toward us like a runaway shopping cart, and our live-blogging routine has become as warm and comfy as a favorite shirt fresh from the dryer.

Also, my metaphors are more mixed than the drink in my hand. And 10 pm Eastern is nigh! So let's just get right to it, shall we? Here are last week's highlights:

  • Our cause to nickname every cheftestant was advanced when Heneage dubbed Stefan "Colonel Klink." But Leah's nickname remains a problem. HeyThatsMyBike suggested "The Whiny One Who Bores Me," which is accurate and possessed of a certain quasi Native American charm, but lacks the requisite catchiness. Hopefully Leah will pack her knives tonight and render the problem moot.
  • Klink won yet another challenge (a quickfire this time), further cementing his status as the prohibitive favorite. The show's producers may need to tie one of his hands behind his back for the rest of the season just to create some drama over who the final winner will be.
  • Fabio mentioned "monkey ass filled with fried banana," the latest in what is apparently a series of Fabio monkey-ass specialties. I'm starting to suspect that this is all subtle promotion leading up to the postseason release of The Fabio Viviani Monkey-Ass Cookbook.
  • Thanks to a couple of interesting commenter side conversations, I learned about several 19th Century diseases, as well as what to do if you get a nosebleed (pinch your nose, tilt your head forward — not back! — and buy a humidifier).
  • We bid adieu to Mr. Miami and his golden locks (bleepblopblorp eulogized thusly: "hair today, gone tomorrow"). But this was probably just as well, because Jeff had grown strangely melancholy of late. Remember when he stared dolefully at a stack of pantry-food products and called it "a pile of garbage"? Perhaps a return to the bracing winds of Dildo Beach will help lift his spirits.

Now lift your own spirits and sip them while I share these things to watch for as we live-blog tonight:

  • The quickfire will be a fish-filleting contest, which could be a problem for Leah because she's has had some boning-related problems lately. With fish, I mean. That is, when she tries to handle a boner tool, she … oh never mind.
  • During the same challenge (SPOILER ALERT), Hosea will (REALLY ICKY THING ALERT) nail a living eel's head to a board, and then skin it while it's still squirming. I didn't catch the name of the sponsor of this quickfire, but I'm fairly certain it isn't PETA.
  • Toby Young will call guest judge Eric Ripert "Obewan Kenobe." I don't know why Toby Young will do this, but when he does, I plan to call him "Jabba the Putz." In fact, let's all do that: When the time comes, toss back a drink and shout "Jabba the Putz" at Toby Young. It'll be cathartic!

OK, it's showtime, stormtroopers. May the force be with you!