Hello commenters! How are we all feeling tonight? Who feels like a hummingbird on cocaine? Raise your hands.

Ooh, lots of hands, good. Ok, now: Who feels like monkey-ass on an empty clam shell? Oh … that many? Bummer. Sorry guys. You know what you should do? Join our commenter live-blog of Top Chef tonight. You'll feel better in no time!

As is my wont, while we wait for this evening's episode to commence (at 10 Eastern), I'll share a few highlights from last week. This time, my focus is on Hosea and Leah's drunken makeout moment — not because it wasn't kind of gross (it was), but because it produced several memorable comments from the live-blog crew. For example, encoreerocne referred to "chicka bow bow," Dot added "bow bow chicka bow bow," and katekate is squared spoke of "bow chicka bow wow." Bleepblopblorp, meanwhile, described Hosea and Leah as "chefsextants" and wondered: "Did they consommé their relationship?" (Stop groaning. It's a great pun, admit it!)

Meanwhile, I think Hosea may finally have a good nickname: "Hose-Leah" (because if he didn't, he came close.) This means we now have five cheftestants with decent nicknames, including "Chef Boyardee" for Fabio, "Rainbow Tats" for Jamie, "Miami Dildo" for Jeff and "Beeker" for Carla. So, if we can just come up with good ones for Stefan and Leah, our nicknaming goals will be complete. (Or hopefully, nicknaming Stefan will be enough, and Leah will make many live-bloggers happy by packing her knives tonight.)

Finally, having done my usual "peruse the preview clips" thing, I've identified the following "things to watch for" as we live-blog tonight:

  • Padma will declare that "the Super Bowl is just around the corner," only a week after some cheftestants were chided for serving soup on a hot summer day. Before that, they were catering a Christmas party. By the time the "Valentine's Labor Day Episode" rolls around, the remaining cheftestants will probably feel more temporally dislocated than the characters on this season of "Lost."
  • The Quaker Oats Quickfire Challenge will feature a surprise ingredient. Guess what it is? (Here's a hint: If Stanley Tools paid Bravo the right price, they'd probably have these people cooking with sawdust.)
  • Carla will say, "Jeff can't quiet the creative monkeys." This may be a figure of speech, but knowing Carla, it probably isn't. She probably hears Jeff's creative monkeys, calling to her in the night … "Hootie hoo! Hootie hoo!"
  • Tonight's elimination challenge will feature the return of "all-stars" from seasons past, such as … um … that guy who wore those funny hats last season. What was his name again? Let's just call him "hat guy." Oh, and also that other guy who looked like hat guy, but didn't wear any hats. Him too. You know … all-stars!

Anyway, you guys are the real all-stars. So grab a drink, turn on Bravo and prepare to shine! (Just don't wear any funny hats. You know how I feel about that.)

— MisterHippity