We may be isolated in the cold of Park City, but at least we can reasonably assume a relatively low risk of shootings, stabbings and other moviegoing carnage plaguing other parts of the country.

After a protracted lull, theater violence experienced an uptick last month when the heroic Joseph Cialella quieted a mouthy fellow viewer at a Philadelphia screening of Benjamin Button. And last Friday, police evacuated 700 filmgoers following a shooting in a Greensboro multiplex where Notorious played on several screens (and where the film's leading man, Jamal Woolard, was in attendance). And yesterday, right on cue, the knives came out in New York:

A Long Island security guard at a movie theater in Valley Stream has been arrested for stabbing a moviegoer, police said.

Police said the security guard, Ricardo Singh, 24, was directing patrons to exit the theater after a showing of My Bloody Valentine in 3D when he got into an argument with a 16-year-old who wanted to wait inside for his ride. The argument escalated into pushing and shoving and Singh allegedly took out a folding knife and stabbed the teenager in the stomach, police said.

And after all that, the victim had to wait inside for his ride anyway — an ambulance that hauled him off to get six stitches. Singh was arrested and charged with assault, just another sign warning haunted Americans of the dangers of imitative violence afflicting our culture. As such, we'd advise avoiding all of these films this weekend, and skip Hotel For Dogs for good measure. And if a race-riot slaughter looks imminent at Slumdog Millionaire, try Paul Blart: Mall Cop. You'll be in good hands.