Washington is a town that shuts down when it gets 2 inches of snow, so a couple million hope-junkies clogging the infrastructure has led to full-scale panic. Join us!

  • As we already saw, the security sweeps at the Mall were easily breached, so you and your friends could just break down a police barrier or two and possbly spark a crowd control incident. Tear gas time!
  • The Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial are "near capacity," which means "full." You won't get anywhere near the Capitol unless you're there now. Meanwhile the cops are impeding your trip even further, randomly closing more streets, and all the bridges from Virginia are closed (sorry, Virginia!).
  • Hah apparently dozens of people have abandoned their cars on Route 50 in Maryland. They will be towed.
  • Meanwhile the Metro (DC's subway) website's "Trip Planner" is routing people to closed stations.
  • And then a lady was hit by a train at Gallery Place, closing the entire Red Line. The Chinatown bus lets off right around the corner from Gallery Place, of course. (Oh, and maybe she just fell.) This is where Hamilton is, at the moment, we think. Whoops!

Photo: AP