Inaugural Sex Trades: Five Types
With a million people in DC for the inauguration, Craigslist has, naturally, become a throbbing hub of sexxxy inaugural offer$. Even journalists are trying to elbow in on the action.
Below, a quick tour of the enduring erotic power of Barack Obama (or, more cynically, of tickets to a sold-out show).
1. Have access, will barter
People with genuine, gold-plated access generally don't need to turn to Craigslist to find a date. Instead, you find people touting C-list credentials, like this "witty...engrossing Jewish Man" who wears Armani and (is this where we're supposed to swoon?) "works in the media biz and [is] traveling to DC to cover the Inauguration" and is seeking a "very regal" woman who sounds suspiciously like a Michelle Obama stand-in.
Or this young journalist, (in the inaugural "Silver Section," but standing), this guy with tickets to a ball at the Italian embassy and a recent breakup ("Prefer white/hispanic, or Asian"), or this friendly-looking performing artist in from Oakland for various inaugural events.
The best is this guy (above), who gives his Congresswoman a shout-out to thank her for his tickets, then tries to leverage them into a four-way.
2. Political masochism
Revenge sex will be with us forever. It's not just for ex-Kerry staffers!
3. Have place, will barter
Oh hey, look, a FREE place to stay! You just have to be willing to "see where things may lead" and be made to "feel warm and fuzzy." Or, for the fellas, let the landlord give your ladyfriend an erotic massage (left) and so forth, emphasis on "so forth."
4. Need place/tickets, don't get any ideas
Other than this lady, who has the chutzpah to "guarantee we will have a 'Ball,'" most of the desperate are kind of defensive about their situation. "Black B[ig] B[reasted] W[oman] needs friends for inauguration... No SEX." Um, we're not the ones who brought up the breasts. There's also the male model type who only wants a place to crash but needs " PIC OR PICTURES OF WHO YOU ARE THANKS IS ONLY FAIR."
This one (left) will maybe let you buy her a beer. Which, actually, given the freaks on Craigslist, is probably a sensible position for a 26-year-old woman to take.
5. Part of a Hope entourage, let's get distracted
"I am here to entertain any Older Man in town for the inauguration."
M4M: "My friend is performing for the inauguration, i am her chaperone."