New York Will Get a New Senator Next Week Maybe
Remember how everyone was arguing about Caroline Kennedy getting a Senate seat for like a week? And then everyone forgot about it? That was David Paterson's cunning plan!
Paterson always promised that he wouldn't appoint anyone to Hillary Clinton's seat until after she officially vacated it. And Hillary took her time vacating, unlike Obama, waiting until this week to get around to it. (To make sure she'd be confirmed as SecState?) So now it's time for Paterson to make his decision! Next week some time.
Of course by waiting, Paterson successfully beat the news cycle—all the arguments have been made and the furor has died down. Caroline either will or won't be a Senator and everything everyone has to say about this they have said.
The governor says he'll wait until "right after the inauguration"—still scheduled for some time next Tuesday—to appoint the second-favorite child of America's Second-Favorite Murdered President to the World's Most Deliberative Body. Or maybe he won't appoint Caroline! He's not saying.
Paterson also dismissed polling suggesting that Caroline Kennedy is losing popular support.
"The polls go up and down," he said. "I think that's more name recognition."
"There are some great candidates who have distinguished themselves but aren't so well known," he said.
Well that's good news for the people who aren't Andrew Cuomo or Caroline Kennedy. Like Kristen Gillibrand and Tom Suozzi and other people you see on NY1 sometimes.
But now we can reveal the newest top candidate for the job, thanks to our sources in the governor's inner circle!
Due to his unbelievably great name, Captain Chelsey B. "Sully" Sullenberg the Third was basically destined to be a heroic pilot of some sort (if not the Miracle on the Hudson he presumably would've been the highest-scoring Royal Flying Corps ace of the Great War), which is why Governor David Paterson will appoint him our newest United States Senator! Maybe! He lives in California, but non-residency didn't stop RFK or Hillary Clinton! And neither of them successfully landed a jetliner in the Hudson Fucking River.