Everyone is trying calm down before the weekend. Courtenay Semel totally made up for setting Casey Johnson's head on fire. Madonna tried to not be a demanding, terrible ball-buster constantly.

  • Madonna sought counseling to be "less domineering" in relationships. But it had to be at a Kabbalah center, in New York, with this one elite rabbi, and absolutely no one else in the room. The rabbi "tweak[ed] her tikkun," like he was some kind of Yankee. Then Madonna had to start riding horses so she could dominate some other sort of living creature.
  • The only appropriate way to make up for beating your girlfriend and setting her hair on fire is inviting her to be your date at Sundance. Amirite or what, Courenay Semel!? [P6]
  • Say what you will about Observer publisher Jared Kushner's father Charles, like that he set his sister's husband up with a prostitute, filmed it, and tried to blackmail him. Whatever. But Kushner's grandmother? Killed actual Nazis. Possibly indirectly, in a kind of collective group effort. But still! [P6]
  • Ryan Adams can't tour after March 20 because he has listening issues. Sorry, hearing. HEARING issues. [Daily Star]
  • If you don't stop saying Barack Obama secretly supports Caroline Kennedy, Rahm Emanuel will not-so-secretly kill and devour you, for breakfast. [P6]
  • The New Kids on the Block are getting their own, totally non-cheesy, non-washed-out-old-rocker-featuring cruise. It's going to be awesome, so just shut up. [Gatecrasher]
  • Bill Murray, who recently emerged from a nasty divorce involving allegations he was a sex addict, bought a bunch of women's shoes for some new lady friend at a New York boutique. [P6]
  • The National Enquirer said Patrick Swayze's cancer spread to his lungs, but the actor told People it really was just pneumonia, and is almost gone. [Showbiz Spy]