The networks have emerged from hibernation, and there is an absurdly large amount of new television tonight and the rest of this month. We hope you weren't planning on getting off the EKTORP anytime soon.

WATCH

Momma's Boys [10 PM, NBC] - After Mrs. B went all Blue Thunder last week, we're expecting even more drastic acts of motherly interference to keep the boys from any more interracial hook-ups. The Virgin Islands are the setting for this week's action, but the boys and the former Penthouse Pets and Playboy Playmates are going to be far from paradise. Please tell us that Momma's Boys 2 is happening. Phew.

The Big Bang Theory [8 PM, CBS] - We were huge Robot Wars fans during our high school days, so we have been hoping for a 'the guys build a killer robot' episode since this series began. From the previews, it looks like the show will be injecting some much needed prop-physical comedy into its tried and true formula of: Penny says something normal, Sheldon says something insane, Leonard mocks that, Wolowitz says something sleazy, Penny makes a joke, Koothrappali says nothing.

TiVo

24 [8 PM, Fox] - Part two of the premiere airs tonight with Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) being released from a Senate subcommittee meeting to help with a domestic threat. The great thing about Fox is that due to their two-hour primetime window, they don't even fret about completely alienating viewers who might not like 24 or Idol this week, devoting eight hours in four days to those shows. They're really showing you up, you regular networks with your diversified programming options.

KILL

The Bachelor [8 PM, ABC] - DILF Jason Mesnick entertains the 15 remaining contestants at a pool party before taking one to the Walt Disney Concert Hall for a private performance courtesy of Robin Thicke. In a world that includes Momma's Boys, this show needs a bigger inevitable twist than DeAnna Pappas coming back. The tranny thing didn't work for Top Model, and we're already bored with the fatherhood angle, so what's left? Terminal disease? That could be good. It definitely creates time pressure.

How I Met Your Mother [8:30, CBS] - The stunt-casting returns, with Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, and Kim Kardashian guest-starring as themselves in the context of a trashy gossip magazine that Jason Segel peruses while using the men's room at work. Also, Robin (Cobie Smulders) and Ted (Josh Radnor) become friends with benefits. Similar to Seinfeld, HIMYM is so good when it is just the main characters maximizing their weirdness with some girl-of-the-week in the mix. We just don't want to be watching this in syndication in 10 years and see Heidi and Spencer.