Determined To Eliminate Misty, Mrs. B Commands AH-64 Apache
Momma's Boys has quickly become an unhealthy Defamer preoccupation, the explosive possibilities of adding overbearing mothers to the hot-tubs-and-fake-boobs reality formula sending us into convulsive fits of trash TV ecstasy.
Last night's episode built to an electrifying showdown between the controversial Mrs. B—who's made no secret of her wish to see son JoJo settle down with a nice, white, Catholic girl (despite the fact that she herself is neither nice nor white)—and her arch nemesis, African-American candidate Misty.
Openly defying his mother's wishes, JoJo texted Misty an invite for a hot tub date—a savory comeuppance further chilled by Misty's choice to rock the sluttiest soccerwear in her carry-on for their lovers' rendezvous. A heated confrontation in the McMansion foyer required the intervention of the other girls, lest Mrs. B produce a shiv from her purse carved out of her favorite good-luck crucifix, and plunge it deep into the JoJo-possessing she-demon's dark heart.
Which brings us to the sequence above, in which producers selflessly offer Mrs. B the services of a helicopter, that she might witness JoJo engaged in an unholy interracial tongue-mashing. The results are truly amazing, for while she never actually utters the words, "What kind of autocannons and rocket launchers does this whirlybird got?! I need to INCINERATE A BITCH," she does succumb to a full-scale apoplectic seizure. After pledging to neuter her son without the use of surgical instruments—an image still seared into our cortex—Mrs. B decides to unleash her rage upon the aircraft's window. The fiery wreck that follows is only a Defamer recreation, but entirely plausible, given the circumstances.
Misty would be dismissed by JoJo at the end of the episode, excluded from next week's foray to the US Virgin Islands for having disrespected his mother—but we suspect it was too late for such reparations. Once you've pledged to squeeze off your son's own balls on national TV, there's really no turning back.