Having journeyed through the dark abyss and emerged to become the current Biggest Star in the World Upstaged by a Mischievous Doggy, junketphobic Marley & Me star Owen Wilson will be counting many blessings in 2009.

And by blessings of course we mean his many Rolexes, whose diamond-bespeckled hands helped lift the actor in his hour of despair. At least that's what this post from Melrose Jewelers's weird, celebrity-focused blog seems to think—in a post so heartwarming, they've already issued a press release about it!

An excerpt:

After a frightening suicide attempt in 2007, Rolex watches and benefits appeared to play an essential role in actor Owen Wilson’s recovery...A People magazine cover story out Friday quotes a friend as saying: "Owen was very despondent. He slit his wrists. He almost did not make it." It was a dark period in Wilson life, and Rolex watches played a key role in helping Owen regain his bearings and his success.

Although Owen Wilson has worn a Rolex GMT Master in the popular films Wedding Crashers and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, he chooses to wear a Rolex Submariner in his everyday life.

The Rolex Submariner is part of Rolex’s Oyster Perpetual Professional line. After returning home from the hospital, Owen was captured by a photographer walking on the beach, wearing his Rolex Submariner. Later, he was seen riding his mountain bike in Santa Monica with the Rolex Submariner on his wrist. Obviously, the quality of a Rolex watch helped Owen realize and appreciate the quality of his own life.

Obviously! From now on, every time Wilson looks at his wrists, he won't be thinking of the end. He'll be thinking of the beginning...of a love affair with the special edition Owen Wilson Rolex LifeAffirmer: a joyous, $24,000 platinum chronometer that can measure the humidity in four continents simultaneously. Hope winds eternal.