Far be it from us to tell somebody not to sell a useless item on eBay for an absurdly high price, but how much is a single joke from an Onion staff writer really worth?

Currently it's worth $365, according to eBay. And there are still three days left! For that price you may be the proud winner of this:

I am selling a joke that I can't find a contextual home for. To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading.

The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3x5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment.

Better be pretty fucking funny. At this rate a single issue of the Onion is more valuable than the S&P 500. [Ebay]