Among the year-end movie surveys bombing the landscape, few offer as rewarding a reality check as the one recapping 2008 as the Year of the Sucker.

A New York Times report acknowledged over the weekend that, yes, those phenomena still glowing on the horizon in your rearview mirror are no less newsworthy than they were when they exploded months ago. The Dark Knight's $500 million-plus windfall indeed helped Warner Bros. handily earn a record box-office market share in 2008, and Twilight's $168 million take since Nov. 21 remains nothing short of a hormonally, follically fueled sensation.

But there's a terrible truth concealed beneath the money bags, and it involves the clown-shod ghost of Robin Williams (among others):

It was amazing. When all is said and done, maybe 24 million tickets will be sold to Twilight, based on current sales. That makes it almost as big as, what?

Patch Adams, the No. 10 movie of 1998. Or roughly the size of George of the Jungle, which placed No. 13 the year before. Or any number of films that are fondly remembered as midsize hits.

After adjusting for inflation, even Sex and the City fared about as well as 1989's Steel Magnolias and 1996's The First Wives Club, and The Dark Knight is only the 26th highest-grossing film of all time behind Grease and just $1.5 million ahead of Thunderball.

Still, while we can't deny some enlightenment and even surprise at the revised numbers, neither we nor you should be caught off-guard in 2009. We've helped you prepare: Have another read through our rosy Recession-Era Film Forecast, and spend these precious few remaining days of 2008 plotting your immunity to next year's hype flood and/or sizing your closets up for the stockpile of canned food and bottled water you'll accrue in the bleak months to come. Except for you, Warner Bros. — just redirect your shipment to Fox and cannibalize Harry Potter at will.