Racist? Mrs. B Is No Racist. Mrs. B Has Partied With Half The Detroit Lions!
Last night, NBC aired the epic, two-hour second installment of Momma's Boys.
For the uninitiated, the show is a throwback to reality TV's Golden Era, only this time Joe Millionaire's mother is standing above her son as he "gets to know" the bachelorettes in the bushes, demanding in droning, nasal tones why he can't "have sex with one of the nicer girls up in the mansion? What about the schoolteacher who played you that song on the piano? She seemed nice. This girl you're doggy-styling is just a tramp, Robbie. I'm sorry, but it needs to be said."
We introduced you last week to the charming Mrs. Bojanowski, the proud Iraqi-American mom whose matter-of-fact distaste for blacks, Jews, and Asians has become a minor sticking point among some of the 475 contestants. In a heated confrontation between she and contestant Vita, an African-American military nurse, an agitated Mrs. B explained that she was in fact friends with multiple blacks, including what we'll presume to be the black "half of the Detroit Lions." Vita later apologized, and Mrs. B was large enough to accept it, one hand firmly clutching her purse at all times. (For doubters, Mrs. B has a deep capacity for love, writing in her bio, "I have a German shepherd, four Chihuahuas, and two ferrets. I am an animal lover, and want the world to know that I hate hunting because I believe there is already enough food out there.")
After the requisite get-to-know-me-and-my-famewhoring-aspirations small talk, a cacophony of BlackBerry text-alert sounds informed contestants whether they had been deemed worthy of a "Yes," a "No," or a "Meet me by the pool so we can build some dramatic tension and/or humiliate you on national TV." It was there that Mrs. B's little JoJo, just 21 but already showing a bold faculty for outside-the-mom thinking when it comes to narrowing down large numbers of chicks he wants to nail, did the unimaginable, and granted Vita another shot at love.
In the sequence above, some of the surviving contestants released stress-induced bloat with an old fashioned, spaside, reality whore burp-off.