It's a night of water cooler show reruns (30 Rock, The Office, Ugly Betty), so you'll have to make do with celebrities who have lost touch with celebreality, rats, and private getaways.

WATCH

Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew [10 PM, VH1] - It's hard to believe that less than two months ago, we were excited about the possibilities inherent in Gary Busey going to rehab. In the 90-minute second-season finale, Jeff Conaway freaks out (it would probably be more interesting if we wrote "Jeff Conaway behaves normally"), the patients watch their highlight clips and then decide how they will get their next series/rehab center. Given the success of The Wrestler, look for someone to throw Busey a glamour/shame project in the next two years. We're already lining up at the Vista.

Shampoo [10:30 PM, TCM] - Among the many other reasons to watch this sexually political, sort of dated Hal Ashby joint is Carrie Fisher's fresh-faced onscreen debut. Hopefully, this will help remove the frightening memory of her recent publicity tour.

TiVo

Forbes Luxe 11: Billionaire Playgrounds [11 PM, Travel] - Considering you are reading this right now, rather than having it read to you while a large man kneads cucumber oil into your back, you probably haven't hit up many of these swanky vacation locations, but we've been wrong in the past. (Damn you, Sharper Image stock. We should have sold you in late '03.) The Travel Channel takes us to an exclusive club in Las Vegas, a Caribbean resort and other spots where the elite meet to remember that they are better that us.

Alexis Arquette: She's My Brother [10 PM, Biography] - Matthew Barbato covers the Arquette sibling's transformation from male to female and the reaction of her family and the gay community in this 90-minute documentary. We've been featuring a lot of sex-change programming lately and the fact that it is even on TV tells us that someone's mind, somewhere, has realized that these stories are important.

KILL

Ratzilla [10 PM, Discovery] - We tolerate Dirty Jobs and some of the other vermin-related programming on Discovery, but this seems like filler. Frighteningly large New Jersey and Florida rats are somewhat photogenic, but real rats haven't been interesting since the original Willard or maybe Letterman's Late Night years. If rodents aren't making continental dishes, we're probably not interested.