Season's greetings, Gawkerites. If you're in a gift-of-gab-giving mood, you've come to the right place. Why not don some gay apparel and join us in a group live blog of Top Chef?

Tonight, I've made a few lists (and checked them twice) because I'm feeling listless and, hence, lazy — and list-making is the lazy way to write. So to pass the time until the show starts (at 10 Eastern), here are three lists born of listlessness.

1. Vocabulary terms from last week's episode:

  • "Out-palated": What Hosea said he did to Stefan in the quickfire challenge. But between the two, Stefan still has the shinier head, so he can take solace in that.
  • "A little splooge": What Danny said he'd put on a plate. Let's hope he was talking about sauce.
  • "Lesbian": A word that Stefan, apparently, does not understand. Maybe he thinks it means "diabetic" or something?
  • "Hootie hoo": A call-and-response between Carla and her husband. This tradition began one night when Carla — in bed with her husband, but fantasizing about singer Darius Rucker — involuntarily shouted "Hootie!" and her husband replied, "Who?" (Actually, I just made that up. But it's fairly plausible explanation, don't you think?)


2. A few commenting highlights from last week's live blog:

  • Heneage: "Is Stefan secretly the butchest lesbian in history?"
  • Dot: "Jamie knows her seafood, I'm sure."
  • bjonston: "Oh sheet. Der is no fockeeen blue food. Waddamah gonna dooo? Ezzz no eazy cookin fockin blue fockin beicon. Sheeeet mang."
  • Heneage: "I didn't know 'douchebag' had become an international pejorative.
  • DavidWatts: "'Little Splooge' was actually my childhood nickname."
  • minou: "Huh. I missed this whole thing. It's Wednesday? Really?"


3. Thoughts on tonight's appearance by Martha Stewart:

  • She and Padma can have a contest to see who … can speak … with more … mellow … low-key … deliberateness.
  • It would be awesome if Martha were to tell one of the cheftestants: "I've tasted better food in prison." Sadly, this probably won't happen.
  • My research reveals that Martha's childhood home of Nutley, New Jersey, is only seven miles from Ariane's hometown of Verona — although, strangely, they don't speak the same way. Ariane "tawks." Martha "talks." I'm guessing that once, long ago, Martha "tawked" too, before deciding that this was not good thing.
  • Ok, it's nearly live-blog time. Have you donned your gay apparel yet? No? Well, run do it now … we'll wait right here.