Live Blogging Top Chef, Week 5
Welcome to another group-live-blogging hour filled with possibilities — although my watching along won't be one of them. I'm stuck in a Bravo-free hotel in Vegas this week on business trip, so my quest tonight will be a quixotic one: hosting the live-blog of a Top Chef episode (starting at 10 Eastern) that I can't watch. But that's probably apt, because impossibility seems to be a theme tonight. Consider, for example, this list of highlights from last week's live blog:
- Under Jeff's smarmy mug, an on-screen banner repeatedly informed us that he's a chef at the "DiLido Beach Club." Several commenters had fun misreading that as the "Dildo Beach Club" — which is silly, of course because there's no such thing. There is a "Dildo of the Month Club," to be sure. (There really is. Google it!) But a Dildo Beach Club? Impossible!
- After seeing Gene cut his own tuna at Whole Foods, Stefan insisted on doing the same. I got the impression Stefan really had no clue how to cut tuna. But could this arrogant Arian admit that he lacked a skill that former-busboy Gene possessed? Impossible!
- Alex lost because he tried to make a crème brulee in under one hour, which everybody knows is … impossible! But before Alex packed his knives, he told us this attempt proved he's "not a pussy." So just remember that, all you non-knife-packing pussy possible-doers!
Also, see if you can spot the impossibilities in this selection of "things to watch for" as we live-blog tonight:
- Wooing! Stefan apparently has a crush on Jamie, and will attempt to woo her. Given her lesbian nature, he might have better luck trying to whip up a five-minute crème brulee.
- Extra viewing! Tonight's episode will be another "supersized" one, so watching first half of The Daily Show will be … you guessed it.
- Borrowed-and-bluing! For elimination challenge, the contestants will cater judge Gail Simmons' bridal shower. We can only hope it'll be one of those "naughty" showers, and they'll make things like chocolate dildos and edible underwear. And then maybe Tom Colicchio will tell the loser, "I'm sorry, but your edible underwear was … inedible." Well … it could happen. Anything's possible, right?
Anyway, it's almost 7 Pacific (goddamn stupid time zone). So come on all you possible-doing pussies, let's get commenting. Viva Las Liveblog! (And remember, what happens here … stays here.)