Grammy Hell mascots Coldplay have pissed off yet another music listener with their anthem "Viva La Vida," but Joe Satriani won't settle for just turning off the noise. In a copyright infringement suit filed Thursday in L.A., the wanky virtuoso alleges that he actually wrote the noise. The evidence (such as it were) follows the jump.

Satriani cites the inclusion of "substantial original portions" of his 2004 instrumental "If I Could Fly" in Coldplay's own song, which was nominated Friday for the Grammy Awards' Song, Record and a portion of Album of the Year prizes. It's curious timing to be sure; the accompanying video breaking down the melodic and chord-progression similarities between "Viva La Vida" and "If I Could Fly" first surfaced online six months ago, when Coldplay was well past healthy levels of overexposure on tour, on radio, on iPod commercials and anywhere else non-discriminating ears could be found.

But whether Satriani really wants "'any and all profits' attributable to the alleged copyright infringement," as Reuters reports, or if he just wants to force a settlement allowing him to splatter some fuckin' hot lixx all over the Grammy stage seems beside the point. The songs' overlaps are the latest in a disturbing trend of Coldplay kleptomania that previously ensnared Ashlee Simpson and the band the Creaky Boards, and which we expect will naturally lead us to a more insidious investigation: From whom did Chris Martin steal his dance-ish convulsions viewed last month on Saturday Night Live? We think we have a pretty solid guess, but feel free to suggest alternatives.