With just a little over a month before Fox parts the 200-foot-high bamboo gates of Karaoke Island and unleashes their gargantuan ratings beast upon an eager-to-be-trampled public, the American Idol publicity machine is in full swing.

In the coming weeks, two new spots will start creeping repeatedly into your cherished quiet time with Drs. House and Annoyingly Sing-Songy Josh Jackson Sr.: The first is a big-budget, slickly produced Idol fever dream as told through David Cook's dreamy eyes, offering just a taste of what life might be like from inside the Rockstar-O-Matic machine. (Training-groupies, Costco-sized Jack Daniels bottles, and bouncing a delighted David Archuleta on your knee all figure heavily.) The second spot drops the shiny facade—this is real life we're dealing with here, after all—and puts us right into the action. It's our first indication of how things might play out with this season's Unknown Judging Quantity Kara DioGuardi, as she bolsters the Paula Abdul-led Team Vagina-Havers in a heated debate over the fate of a bikini-clad, brunette Brooke Hogan-alike. How she managed to get her hands on a golden ticket to Hollywood isn't entirely clear, though we find ourselves already pulling for the contestant—if only for the slim chance that she might make it to the final twelve, and offer guest-mentor Stevie Wonder the motorboating experience of the lifetime.