The odds that you remember the drunken, depraved glories of your employer's past holiday parties are virtually nil, so most of Hollywood shouldn't be too upset today to hear how the recession-to-be is affecting this year's big industry fetes. Variety reports that Disney and Viacom won't be celebrating at all, while other studios are scaling back their own events and even awards-season premieres to the extent their needy talent will allow. And if the global economic meltdown didn't feel like a crisis before, wait until you hear how the caterers will be hit:

The big challenge is how to wield the budget ax in a way that won't alienate the A-list or compromise the promotional value of the event. One catering exec who's done scores of premieres says he's being asked to do more for less, and the only choice is "to get creative" when the food budget is cut. "The shrimp are in hors d'oeuvres instead of a buffet," he said. "You cut back on things that take an inordinate amount of labor." Premieres also drive publicity, so in order to generate that publicity at lower costs, "what you're going to see are more premieres at the Academy with a relatively inexpensive reception in the lobby and then a couple big, themed parties every quarter," a planner said.

Nevertheless, Sony, Showtime and Overture Films are a few of the companies to retain those festive, debauched standards of yore, while Universal will reportedly leave the decision to its division heads. CAA, meanwhile, denied speculation that its popular Holiday Infant Roast would be suspended for a cheaper, William Morris-style Kitten Potluck. A hard-hit Paradigm, alas, confirmed it will downgrade to roadkill.