Now that modelheiress Lydia Hearst has quit her Pulitzer-worthy Page Six magazine column in an "I didn't write that" snafu concerning alleged criticism of her family's publishing empire, they've been on the hunt for a new—and hopefully equally vapid—kid kolumnist. Who's been chosen to top Lydia's "I just bought banana-scented scratch-and-sniff wallpaper for my kitchen" musings? Liam McMullan, boy-about-town and 20-year-old son society photog Patrick. He's apparently the godson of Village Voice gossip Michael Musto, who broke the news.Kid's supposed to be a nice guy, relatively, and he's already had an Observer profile—as he told them, “I’ve always wanted to do lots of things, like direct movies, and write things, and make art, all different types." (He then took a hit of weed.) Suggestion: Liam, just continue these stream-of-consciousness observations for Page Six and you'll do just fine:

Now (sex) just goes on forever. And I have these migraines now that do really hurt like balls when I’m having sex. I start being a dick then. I’m like, ‘Um you can move around a little bit—I don’t have to do all the work.’” [Observer]