It takes a village to raise a child—and to protect a precocious, professionally-sexualized teen's virginity. Disney puppet-performer Miley Cyrus's dad, former country singer Billy Ray, was recently sort-of quoted in the Sun about giving 15-year-old Miley "the talk." Because she has an older boyfriend now! "I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls," he said. This is no longer about Miley, America.It's the chosen narrative we have to keep going, however, whether or not it was said by ol' Dad. Because, even as we give a fictional knocked-up, smart-ass teen named Juno an Oscar, their real-life counterparts—Britney! Jamie Lynn! Bristol!—must remain cautionary tales. We must remain vigilant, America. We must guard her virginity together, as a nation. Preferably through the media, where we can hopefully make just a little bit of profit off it. Because if there's no hope for Miley's innocence... what hope is there for the rest of us?