It's Friday night, so the memory of anything you watch will likely be drowned in a pool of Heineken Light. Probably a positive thing. WATCH Crash [10 PM, Starz] - Starz joins the original scripted drama club with this new series based on the Dave Matthews Band sex ballad, er 2005 Academy Award-winning film. The premiere episode opens with Dennis Hopper's outlandish record producer talking to his penis and unfolds into various Angelenos occupying unstable positions on the cop-criminal continuum. We've looked through the channel guide for ten minutes and are still not sure we have Starz. Forbidden fruit is always sweetest.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta [8 PM, Bravo] - As Molls & Co. suggested yesterday, you'll want to catch up on the first two episodes of TRHOA. Like the O.C. and N.Y. editions, we get to watch the trophy wives shop, attend each other's lavish soirees and get real about being rich. While many Americans affected by the imploding economy would be turned off by a monstrous birthday cake shaped like a Louis Vuitton purse, we like to fantasize about buying a $70,000 SUV with a personal check. TiVo

Saturday Night Live [10 PM, E!] - Will Ferrell's return to the show as guest host in May 2005. Best sketches: "Celebrity Jeopardy" and "Robert Goulet Ringtones." You probably laughed a little at those sketch titles, which is more than you've done for any non-political or non-Kristin Wiig sketches in a long time. Wife Swap [8 pm, ABC] - A frugal lobsterwoman trades kids with a perfectly coiffed and manicured mom. Cast your TiVo and pull up when you see tears, frustrated husbands and the final showdown. Mad Money [8 pm, CNBC] - After the craziest week ever on Wall Street, Jim Cramer is likely to be tackling the financial issues of the day with more destructive violence than normal. FF to the Lightning Round to see if Cramer upgrades The Bluth Company from Triple Sell to Don't Buy. KILL

20/20 [10 PM, ABC] - The news mag plans to kill our buzz with its "Politically Incorrect Guide to Politics." Tonight's episode seeks to answer edgy questions, such as: Do we need a government? Should some people not vote? Here's a question: How much do we have to pay for an open-handed swing at John Stossel's becarpeted upper lip? The Starter Wife [10 PM, USA] - This week, Molly (Debra Messing) hides in a celebrity rehab facility after a gossip blog publishes her journal and its messy divorce contents for all to see. Although writer/producer/ex-Grazer Gigi Levangie seems like she'll be alright if this show succumbs to bad reviews, let's take a moment to honor other projects that have failed in the hands of a Grazer: a flight to Sundance, hilarious pranks, party hospitality, a campaign for universal public recognition, guest-editing the LAT, and marriage.