Federal Bailout Comes Too Late To Save Local Blogspot
Hello, everybody! Defamer editor Seth Abramovitch here, back from what was supposed to be some much-needed rest and relaxation. (I'll spare you the details, except to say that while an all-male Alaskan cruise had initially sounded like a good idea, the hovering helicopters and hockey-mom sniper fire put a considerable damper on proceedings.) Sadly, what I returned to was not the same beloved blogspot I left behind: Our dark leader, Lord of the Nazgûl Nick Denton, had swept in on his fell beast and smote three brave members of the Defamer fellowship. Much distress and confusion ensued. I'll now try, to the best of my ability, to clear up exactly what these changes mean for you.Firstly, we lost our fearless leader Mark Graham—whom we lovingly referred to as "Den Mama" and "King Pookie," in addition to his official alias, "Uncle Grambo." Mark took on an intimidating job and performed it admirably, injecting the site with fresh ideas and energy. As such he will be missed. But fret not, as he is indubitably on to bigger and better things. (We understand he's already in talks to swoop in and fill the charitable-grocery void left by the recent death of an American acting legend, with a planned "Grambo's Own" line of salad dressings and lemonade.) Another wonderful thing lost: Defamer video editrix, To Do anchorperson, and the closest thing we have to a mascot around here, Molly McAleer. This was rough, as we loved Molly like the sister we never had. True, we have two sisters, but neither of them is anything like Molly. The good news is that she is with us for two more weeks—plenty of time for a few more Hostess snack-cake bingings and bike-by clownings for the road. When she becomes famous (TV famous, not just internet famous), we'll be proud to say her launching pad was right here. Her chihuahua sidekick Wagandstuff, meanwhile, is already on his way, having been booked for the upcoming season of Celebrity Apprentice. Go get 'em, Wags! Everyone's favorite moment-of-zen-inducer Douglas Reinhardt was our final casualty. His mastery of the art of photo-captioning was regularly on display in our recurring feature, A Call to the Bullpen. The good news is he'll be with us for the next two weeks as well—and maybe even longer, if we can convince him to work for worthless Gawker Media stock. So where does that leave us? Well, for starters, I'm still here. So is our crack senior editor S.T. VanAirsdale, and our latest proud addition, associate editor Kyle Buchanan. Sure, we're a little down over the loss of our friends, but we're fully committed to sustaining the constant output of Hollywood headlines, scurrilous gossip, and general nonsense that has come to define the Defamer brand. So stick around! You might just wind up having fun. Seth