Much has been made of all the embarrassing commercials for financial institutions punctuating all the news coverage of said financial institutions' simultaneous collapse. (cf. AIG's "Strength To Be There.") But this hypnotic marketing masterwork touting a small Italian takeout chain is the commercial of the collapse. It runs on CNBC approximately 3,894 times a day if you're a local Time Warner customer. Last night I heard it in a dream. Narrated by someone who obviously used to work in phone sex, it channels the Id of the distressed investment banker. Over and over and over. In a voice so preposterously orgasmy she could just straight up be saying "Hey bankers, you will gain a per capita average of 17 pounds stress-eating shitty Italian takeout as you work hundred hour weeks under the constant threat of being 'downsized' along with your rapidly evaporating net worths" and it would still be pretty effective and also, a lot cheaper than a whore.However it is not as good as the IO Digital Cable commercial.